Ive finally sorted out my thoughts and came to a conclusion. Whether or not i will maintain that conclusion is another thing. With courtesy of Shalyn and David, who helped and talked to me about it, reminding me to face up to reality and accept that this is life, ive decided to just heck my emotions and be strong and er..mean and selfish. Yes. Thank you very much. And many thanks to David and Zhen Jie for helping me get over my emotions last night and hearing me nag and rant. If not i would have died crying on my bed. Thanks.
Right, i caught the movie Creep with Raymond this noon at Tampines Mall. Its gruesome, gross, bloody and er..pyschotic. Its my kinda movie, i enjoy this genre but i guess its not pyschotic enough. wahhaha. They should make it even more crazy. But i hate the sight of those bloody corpse and err, the mad killer was disgusting looking. I was peeping through the space of my 5 fingers covering my face. I'll rate it 3 upon 5.
We had dinner at Pizza Hut after that and then i went down to East Coast to meet up with David, Alvin, Xiao Hei and Wayne who were supposingly studying for their supplementary paper tomorrow. So, i decided not to stand in their way and headed to the beach alone. I sat there and thought a lot. I remember very clearly about a year ago, on my birthday eve, the same thing happened. I was sitting alone in front of the what seems endless sea, staring blankly into space. My mind was blank cos i was in a complete lost. My boyfriend left me on that fateful day and my mind went blank, i couldnt think at all.
There's a lot of things on my mind now which i wanna type out but im far too lazy to do so. Its all in the past anyway. Thinking back, i havent had a proper and fun filled birthday celebration for years. The best time as far as i could remember was in my Primary school days. Other than that, my birthday always clashes with the Mid Semester Examinations.
Last year, for once, i thought i would have a very memorable birthday because its the first time im going to celebrate it fruitfully with my love and my friends. But sad to say, he left me on the day before turning 17 which led to a total fiasco. This year, i too thought it would be fun because firstly, im turning 18 which is halfway through total freedom and its during the school's break. Then again, sad to say, as a SL, i'll have to be in school for orientation day which unfortunately falls on my birthday eve and birthday itself. How nice.
I wanted to book a chalet and make it a really big event, but the idea have to go and im totally clueless of what im gonna do on that pathetic Friday. I dont even have the mood to celebrate it right now. Dont ask me why, but depressing stuffs always happen when my birthday is nearing. How sad can that be? Im cursed i guess. Cursed for life.
Its about a month more so i guess i'll just sit back and relax and see what will happen next. I may not even live pass 18. Anything could happen, no?
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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